Balance

The world seems quiet tonight as I put on a pair of jogging pants, a hoodie, and my old pair of converse all-stars to take a run out in the streets of Ohio on an off night on tour. I pull out my ipod and add a few Project 86 songs to my playlist as I begin to stretch in the cold, autumn air. I just finished reading a blog by the lead singer for Project 86, Andrew Schwab, (which is why I am eager to listen to them) and am still pondering a statement that he made about how his mind always seems clearer for writing and thinking while on an airplane. I can relate to trying to "clear my mind", as one of my intentions in running this late at night was to simply do that; clear my mind.

It's not as though I have any major trials or conflicts that I am currently experiencing, but more of a need to spend some time alone with God. In fact, halfway through my late evening jog in the streets, I turned off one of my favorite bands and took out my headphones in attempt to "hear" God more clearly. You see, for the past 3 years as I have toured the country with my brothers in WILLET,I have often found myself in a never-ending search for "balance" in my life. I am a very "driven" person, and can be easily motivated to strive at reaching goals. Sometimes those goals are musical, spiritual, physical, emotional and even financial. Other times, they are related to a specific cause, or a day-to-day activity. Regardless of the final result, I draw inspiration from seeing a great photo, watching an intriguing film, hearing a well-written song, or reading a fantastic article. I find however, as quickly as I am motivated, I can also lose interest with the snap of a finger as well.

The balance that I am searching for is unknown at this point in my life. I absolutely love what God has called me to do as I travel the country, and now the world, sharing my heart about orphaned children in Africa. The confusion sets in however, when I begin to evaluate what I spend a majority of my time on. You see, I am a follower of Jesus first. (Notice I didn't use the word "christian" as that has a very "loose" meaning now days.) Secondly, I am a husband. A very happy and undeserving husband at that. A husband to a beautiful wife that I had the privilege of meeting, dating for 5 years as my first girlfriend, and marrying 2 and a half years ago. Thirdly, I am a member of a God-loving family that I am proud to be a part of. A family that serves together in ministry and values time with each other more then time with the world. And lastly (not that I am only 4 things, but for the sake of my time and yours...) I am the lead singer of a band trying to tell a story. Not a story about us or our music, but a story of children that can't speak for themselves. A story of young boys and girls that will go without food and water. A story of families being torn apart by extreme poverty, famine, drought and war. A story that I would like to see end with hope.

Everyday, I wake up and juggle the many obstacles involved in touring in a band full-time, writing music, reading my Bible, being a husband, staying connected with my family, serving in my church, speaking for the poor, staying healthy, writing articles, producing pod-casts, praying, meeting new people, attending meetings, checking emails, making phone calls, typing proposals, discussing yearly projections... and the list could go on and on and on...
I am coming to realize however that the only thing that truly offers peace in the midst of such chaos is my personal time with Jesus. I can't find it in music, books, television, relationships, concerts, success, money, or recreation. My time with God is the primary strength for fighting a war with the world of greed, obsession, and temptation. I strive to be more like Christ everyday. I want to be known as a husband that gave 110% for his wife. I want to be remembered as a family member that was willing to do anything for the ones he loved. And I want to stand for the ones that can't stand for themselves. Through it all, I am reminded that it is all for The King, and without Him, none of this is worth it.
Sometimes it takes a late night jog to be with God. Other times, it simply involves prioritizing our activities and discovering what truly matters.

What is God teaching you today? Are you struggling to find balance in your daily activities? Do you enjoy what you are doing everyday, or are you simply trying to "get by"?


I look forward to your feedback as we begin to pray for each other...